OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! How did i survive this?

Ok I have no idea on Earth how I just survived this. I used this potion to shrink myself to an inch tall. This was supposed to be a science experiment and it worked. Unfortunately, my idiot cousin found me. She foolishly left me in a part of a blender that was being cleaned by my aunt. When it was finished being cleaned, my aunt sliced some fruits up and put it in the blender. I began to cry and thought i was done for and at that y aunt started the blender. I was spun at rapid speeds and almost sheared to pieces but managed to survive. After this, I was poured into a gl and my aunt unaware of me, drank the whole gl and its contents in one gulp. Now here's the scary part; I was in my aunt's stomach, swallowed alive with no protection from the acids. I was thrown all around and mixed with my aunts lunch and a lot of other stuff. Miraculously, I was still intact heading to the small intestines. I figured this was the end and that my luck would run out but it still didn't! I was pushed all the way through her intestines covered in more digestive chemicals and watched as other things were absorbed into my aunt. After surviving this, I knew that the next stop was obviously the colon. There I was formed into my aunt's **** and began to get worried and scared. Understandably, I didn't want to come out of my aunt's mive nasty a** but knew it was my only way out. So with my eyes closed and scared, I waited until I was tilted at a vertical angle and my aunt began to use the muscles in her low end to push her bowel movement out. -_- I was so traumatized it was nasty and not pleasant not one bit. My cousin had informed my aunt of her mishap and I was rescued. I couldn't look at my aunt for the next 6 months without cringing or having some sort of unwanted mental image. I don't know how I survived and think I should be dead right now. Any ideas how in the world I survived my aunt's unforgiving digestive system with no air or protection as well as the blender? I've done a lot of insight and don't know how I wasn't either purated into juice or digested by my aunt. I just wanna know.