What am I am confused?

Best way to figure out what is going on is to ask yourself what happened in your life right around the time the great feelings turned into bad ones. Odds are someone you care about said something to you or within your earshot that is making you overthink about your uality. As long as what you are doing is not hurting yourself or someone else physically and/or emotionally, there is nothing wrong with your fantasies/dreams. If you're dwelling on the bad for too long, please check this site out for further help: a href="http://www.thetrevorproject.org" rel="nofollow"http://www.thetrevorproject.org/a