Question about church?

I think it is great that you are questioning inconsistencies between what you believe the truth you feel in your heart and the truth you hear preached. I believe that most of us know deep down in our hearts the direction of the truth and God's spirit and it is often at odds with organized religion, which sometimes takes positions that seem to favor interest contrary to those preached by Jesus. I find the increasing presence of the gospel of prosperity and the view that the acquisition of wealth and material things is an examples of God's blessing an appalling twisting of God's words. I think you seem to be doing fine without church but if you are seeking fellowship I'd encourage you to try many different churches, perhaps going to services as a guest of people who seem to share you spiritual views.